The Sensitive Ones

If you read my last blog you will remember I babysat two girls for a friend for 12 hours while she was at work, one of the girls, although I don’t like to play favourites, I have a real soft spot for because she just seems so vulnerable.

This little girl, Miss 8, with the wild curly hair, the pleading eyes and the warm, compassionate, cuddly, sensitive but also boisterous nature reminds me very much of Master 7.

Her sister, Miss 10, has Asperger’s Syndrome, and she needs a lot of medical treatment and physiotherapy as when she got sick with the flu a year and a half ago something horrific happened. All of her muscles wasted away so she needs a lot of help balancing and doing every day things inside and outside of the home, her parents also spend extra time working with her at home to help her to regain her strength so that when she is older she is independent, this time needs to be spent with her now, and she is making great strides in her progress thanks to her parents dedication. This wouldn’t leave a lot of personal time for Miss 8, and while her parents do their very best to make sure she gets included and has some personal time spent with just her and one other parent as often as they can, she simply cannot be their number one priority at the moment. An adult can understand this, but to an 8 year old this would be confusing.

I can’t help but take her under my wing, and she has really taken to me too. She spent most of the day with me yesterday, while I cleaned and looked after the other kids. She is also an animal lover so she absolutely loved helping me tip out the bowl with the tadpoles inside and giving them fresh water. I really enjoyed her company.

She did struggle with the other children yesterday, because Master 7 is not into any girl things and doesn’t like to get wet under the sprinklers, and because Miss 10 is Master 10s girlfriend and they were spending most of their time chatting on the trampoline she really took it to heart that no one was spending time with her, I consider this a symptom of her day to day life.

Before she left she said she had a really good day with me and asked if I could look after them all of the time. I had to explain to her that I could only do it once in a while because I work, but I would take them as often as I possibly can. I just hope I helped to make her day a good one and that she felt like she got a personal day with another caring adult.

Drawing The Battle Lines – Boys And Girls

I agreed to look after my friends two girls today while she was at work and having them around changes tho whole dynamic! Master 10 is walking around being all surly and bossy. Master 7 is having trouble co-operating, he is frustrated as he likes rules, he has a lot of them and girls like to challenge them by asking a lot of questions and Master 2 is loving the water fights outside and being adored by the girls! He’s just going with the flow. There has had to be quite a bit of adjustment on both sides as they all try to figure out how they all tick together.

I am noticing that with the girls that they have a lot of temper tantrums. Miss 8 flies into a rage, cries and runs away, and Miss 10 stands there with her arms crossed and passively aggressively talks to “herself” about how and why the situation sucks. A far cry from my boys who get into a punch up which I have to break up and sending them into different rooms to cool off, then they’re friends again after saying sorry to one another. Girls seem to seethe and harbour for a lot longer.

Honestly I have idea how to mediate right now! With the boys I can talk to them about an incident and they take it in their stride, the girls are more intent on being the victim in the situation. I’m just down to ignoring the behaviour I don’t like at this point as I don’t like to argue, it goes nowhere, we all seem to be able to come to an understanding.

With this said, however I know that everyone is different, really it just comes down to personality and what the group dynamic is. I’m hoping this will remain as relaxed and happy as it has been for the most part for the rest of this 12 hour stint. I may blog later on the progress, and by that point the tone may have changed quite a bit!